Nikki Glaser's 10 Rejected Globes Bits

Sravana

You need 4 min read

·

Post on Jan 13, 2025

38 visitor like this post

Share

Nikki Glaser's 10 Rejected Golden Globes Bits: A Hilarious Deep Dive

Nikki Glaser, the queen of unapologetic comedy, is known for her sharp wit and fearless approach to humor. While she hasn't hosted the Golden Globes, her comedic prowess is undeniable, and imagining her tackling the often-stuffy awards show is a recipe for hilarious disaster – or, more accurately, hilarious almost disaster. This article dives into 10 fictional, yet believably Glaser-esque, Golden Globes bits that were, unfortunately, rejected by the powers that be. Prepare for a rollercoaster of outrageous jokes, cutting observations, and pure comedic genius.

The Unfiltered Truth: Why These Jokes Were Rejected

Before we dive into the hilarious mayhem, it's important to understand why these gems were deemed unsuitable for the Golden Globes. The show, while attempting to loosen its tie a bit in recent years, still maintains a certain level of decorum. Nikki Glaser's brand of comedy, however, thrives on pushing boundaries and confronting uncomfortable truths – a recipe for conflict with broadcast standards and possibly, the celebrities themselves. Think less "polite applause" and more "stunned silence followed by a hurried commercial break."

The rejected bits below walk the fine line between brilliant and brutally honest, offering a glimpse into the kind of edgy humor that would've made the Golden Globes truly unforgettable (in a very good, very chaotic way).

Nikki Glaser's 10 Rejected Golden Globes Bits: The Comedy Gold That Wasn't

Here are ten fictional Golden Globes jokes, in the style of Nikki Glaser, that were unfortunately deemed "too hot to handle":

1. The "Method Acting" Mishap:

Joke: "So, I heard [Celebrity Name] completely immersed themselves in their role by actually living as a homeless person for three months. Impressive dedication…until they tried to crash the after-party and demanded free champagne."

Rejection Reason: Too close to the bone for a celebrity known for their philanthropic work. Potentially defamatory.

2. The Wardrobe Malfunction Commentary:

Joke: "[Celebrity Name]'s dress is stunning… but are we sure it's actually a dress, or did they just borrow a really fancy shower curtain?"

Rejection Reason: Risk of offending the designer and/or the celebrity. Considered unnecessarily mean-spirited.

3. The Botox Backlash:

Joke: "Wow, [Celebrity Name] looks amazing! I bet their face cost more than my car... and probably requires more maintenance than my relationship."

Rejection Reason: Insensitive and potentially hurtful comments about cosmetic procedures.

4. The Acceptance Speech Critique:

Joke: "[Celebrity Name]'s acceptance speech was so long, I started wondering if they were using it as a thinly veiled attempt to launch their new memoir."

Rejection Reason: Targeting a specific celebrity's acceptance speech is seen as unprofessional.

5. The Awkward Run-In:

Joke: "I ran into [Celebrity Name] at the restroom earlier. We had a very awkward moment of silence. Turns out, we both desperately needed a bathroom break, and the only available stall had a line longer than the queue for the best tacos in LA."

Rejection Reason: Reveals too much about celebrity behavior and potentially embarrasses both the comedian and the celebrity.

6. The "Unexpected Guest" Bit:

Joke: (Pointing to an empty seat) "And here we have a seat saved for [controversial celebrity's name]. Because apparently, no one wants to sit next to them."

Rejection Reason: The blatant negativity would've been too controversial and might have escalated the already tense situation in the room.

7. The Unpopular Opinion:

Joke: "I'm not gonna lie, I'm more excited about the after-party snacks than any of these awards."

Rejection Reason: Seen as disrespectful to the awards and the nominees. Also, who doesn’t love free food?

8. The Dating App Disaster:

Joke: "I tried to get on a dating app during the commercial break. My profile picture is just me looking awkwardly at this awards ceremony. Swipe right if you’re also desperately lonely."

Rejection Reason: Irrelevant to the event and too self-deprecating for a prime-time awards show.

9. The "Age is Just a Number" Jolt:

Joke: "It's amazing how many people in this room look like they've had more Botox than lines in their resume."

Rejection Reason: Again, focuses on the age and appearance of celebrities in a manner deemed too insensitive.

10. The Unexpected Reveal:

Joke: "I was supposed to introduce [Celebrity Name], but I completely forgot. Oops! My bad. At least I remembered to wear pants."

Rejection Reason: Considered unprofessional and potentially disrespectful to the celebrity being introduced.

Conclusion: The Power of Unscripted Comedy

While these jokes might not have graced the Golden Globes stage, they perfectly encapsulate Nikki Glaser's comedic genius: sharp, witty, and unafraid to challenge the status quo. The very fact that they were rejected only serves to highlight the boldness and originality of her comedic voice. The Golden Globes might have missed a chance for truly memorable moments, but audiences everywhere can appreciate the comedic gold that almost was. The next time you're watching an awards show, remember these rejected bits, and imagine the laughter that could have been. Just maybe, keep the champagne on hand. You'll need it.